The Power of The Circle at Occupy London

Today the Movement was in court to hear if The Bank would have a stay of eviction and if the protestors would be removed from St Paul's. And with the Solstice round the corner- energies and emotions were charged today for lots of reasons. We were feeling the shifts, the ends and the beginnings to come.

An art class was just finishing up as we arrived. I walked past some of the camp and saw people walking through this tent city. One man, turned up his nose and said Oh its stinks as he walked past the tents. Yes the bins did smell and lets face it the Portaloos were pretty well used. I have to say, no worse than some clubs in London on a Friday night, or any outdoor event. What did this man expect? These are people camping in the middle of a city. This is not camping in the middle of some green and pleasant land, with nature to purify and cleanse. A city smells at the best of times. For some reason I found his remarks to be hurtful. And indicative of the "Christmas Spirit" I was seeing on the streets. People focused on buying, buying, pushing, grabbing. Facebook updates about buying, eating, buying. None of this seemed to ring very close to my heart. A small group of people sitting in a tent drawing in an art class, at least seemed authentic. Let's face it- no one chooses to sleep on the streets. It is easy to judge. To dismiss. To react.

The Uny Tent has a library and a seated area with sofas and carpet. People were milling about in there as we set up. I started to smudge the space. A man in the corner on a sofa asked me if I knew what I was doing. Im smudging the space I said. Are you saying - go away you are unworthy. No I said. Do you feel that? He just shrugged and looked down. He seemed angry and defiant- he was not going to join he said. It was also obvious he would not leave. He would be sat right above me- watching the whole circle. I admit I found that a bit intimidating. In the distance we could hear sirens and cars and church bells.

People started to drift in- they had smelt the sage and they wanted to know what was happening. My friend sat in the South- in the element of Earth and started to drum. My other friend sat in the North- in the element of Air and did the same. I sat in the East ( for the first time) in the element of Fire and started to drum also. Suddenly next to me sat 2 men- one took out a penny whistle and started playing that. Another wanted to give me his Franckincense resin to burn- he whispered in my ear do you have any charcoal to burn this. I did not- so we added some to the smoker and the smell filled the tent. It was beautiful. And we carried on drumming, There was so much coming and going. I had underestimated how noisy this place was. Of course it was we were in the middle of the city at 4pm. All I could hear was chatter and above that cars and above that sirens and some road works and then the occasional church bells. Some more people drifted in and we now had a circle of about 10. Opposite me a man was sat working on his laptop, I wasnt even sure he was part of the circle or had found it happen around him.

So we opened the space and introduced ourselves. I asked each person to say something about themselves. It was hard to hear anyone above the traffic noise and people were reticent to share. And for some reason I was being pushed to speed things up. Was this because I was sat in the East? I felt this urgency to get started. We then called in the elements. Next to me was sat a man who told me he had missed doing this work. And as we turned to the East- he argued with us and told us we were wrong- that was not the East. And yet all are welcome. That is the nature of the circle. I told him we were facing the right way and he then agreed. As I called in the Spirits of the element of Fire he started commenting on what I was saying. This was hard. So the drum came in and the intention became stronger. Now more than ever the element of Fire was needed here to give us warmth, to cleanse the space, to release our inner restrictions, to purify. And so we continued and the man next to me stood in silence and soaked it all in. He continued to come and go during the rest of the circle, leaving to smoke, coming back to make some comments, leaving, coming back. Yet as he said- he missed this work- he had done it before- and he wanted more of this. We need this here he said. We need the drums.He could hear the drums and our singing in the distance whenever he left the space and it called to him he said.

We then started with what we wanted to release in our lives- and this was voiced in circle one by one and then we clapped and drummed it out of us- into the fire ( our candles) in the centre of the circle. We were joined by a member of the clergy now too. And I was amazed by the beauty with which people honestly spoke about what they no longer want to have in their lives. Grasping, defensiveness, fear- common themes for everyone, for me. The circle was mirroring to us all our fears, our inner obstacles to being in our Truth and Power. Afterwards we shared and someone said it was hard to stay focused. People were coming in and out, watching us and then leaving. It was hard- very. If we can find that strength, that connection to our Truth in the middle of the Chaos we can find it anywhere. Of course we can find enlightenment on a mountain top, in a forest deep in nature. To find your Truth here, to find your connection here in the middle of a city with non stop noise and disturbance- required a strong focus and a strong circle. And we were finding it- snatches of it- fleeting but there.

We then moved to the 2nd round and this time we were voicing our prayers, our intentions for 2012, using a stick of sage to burn and release later. And again with such beauty people talked of wanting to be in their Truth, to change their lives, to create a better world. The man opposite me- had now put aside his laptop- he said he wanted sleep. I asked him for the whole of 2012- yes he said- that sounded good. So we sang to our intentions- we visualized them and sang to them- called them to us with our voices - some people clapped too- some drummed gently- I opened my eyes and saw the man who had asked for sleep was in tune with the energy of the circle- he was using a metal stool to drum on. And we sang and the beauty of the voices that at first were faltering and shy and then soared- backed by the church bells in the distance and the sirens and cars was divine.

Afterwards we shared. And this time those that had said they found this hard, to connect with all the distractions, said it can be done, they had just felt it and they had felt that beauty. Our circle of complete strangers was holding each other up. Was supporting the wishes and visions of those in it.

We opened the third round with some words from Rumi, on Love, on Connection. This round was a celebration- we would now let rip and celebrate all that had brought us here and all we would have in the year to come. We would come together and celebrate connection and this circle and our Truth and what we came to this world to do. I still felt pushed- like time was slipping away. I asked my friend and he said we had half an hour- so why did I feel pushed? We had been joined by some more people and now were a tent of about 20 people- some had not introduced themselves to us. My friend had said that if that happens thats how its meant to be and to allow people that anonymity- I surrendered to that. As we were about to start this round- I saw people move to different parts of the tent so they could be in the circle, so they could find a drum. Someone took a rattle out of his bag. I felt the energy of people wanting to just be here, now and no questions, just come together and drum. And so we drummed and we sang and I took time to listen and heard such powerful voices swell up around me- such a raw, open energy. And started to feel that crest of a wave of unity- of connection of Truth. And then I felt it shift and suddenly a man was saying something. I opened my eyes to see a small man with a beard saying- this was great- this was just what the tent was for- but we had to stop because the high court judge was coming and he could not see us in this space with candles and sage and drums and we had to be quiet for when he arrived. Which utterly amazed me. Surely the whole point of this movement is to not bow down to the powers that are- but to do something new. And we had a member of the clergy here and he was not objecting to drumming and singing- he was joining us. As my friend said afterwards- how did they not know the judge may have liked this circle of community. It was a shame we were being prevented from holding ground here. And yet that had not been the intention of the Circle. It had been to come together, bring people together and to empower.

I could see no one in this space who agreed with stopping. They looked at me. Yes the Rebel in me would have wanted to carry on drumming, to fight my corner. Yet that was not why we were here. And this morning I had received guidance to detach from the drama. And this was just a drama being played out. A playing out of fears. The man next to me got angry. People were upset they had been stopped in mid flow of connecting and opening their hearts- I could feel that, see it and I felt it too.I spoke above this man and said please leave this circle- we need to close the circle and ground the energies and you have intruded on this sacred space. I didnt expect it- but he said yes- he understood and he agreed and he left. I was a bit stunned- now what? My friend suggested we hum and sing gently and so thats what we did. We held hands and we sang and hummed - and we re grouped. We gathered our energies and re connected and sang, quietly to each other, to this bit of land and to the energies we had been a part of in this space. And we all sang and then after a while we all came to a close. And holding hands we led each other in prayers for the future and felt that raw, exposed, honest connection. Hugging and thanking each other afterwards- in something that even now as I write this seems like a very surreal experience such was its rawness and truth in that exposed space. We grounded each other, we supported each other and as things shifted around us- the circle re grouped. It was this that amazed me. In an hour- we  had come together with more honesty and passion than Ive seen happen in months between people.

As we were packing up, clearing the space for the Judge's arrival! People asked when would there be another circle, this place needed it, the people here need it, this space needs clearing. I kept hearing that. People are tired. They are running a new community in the middle of a city that is not supporting this community. And fear can creep up on the best of us. Whether the judge says yes or not- is not important- for another camp will spring up. What is clear is this bit of land is attracting many who need to feel community, who need to share, who need to find and access their inner fire, who need to feel safe, who just need to feel some support. And they cant afford to go to a workshop. They cant buy the books that will tell them what crystals to buy, what events to attend. So to them, the time that people are devoting for art classes, workshops here is nectar.

As we were leaving, I saw one of the young men from the circle on Sat. We hugged hello and he said he had been drawn to the sound of the drum. And he had smelt the sage. I love that smell he said. That something so simple- like the smell of Sage could mean so much- breaks my heart. For it is the simplest things. In the most painful times it has been a stranger smiling at me, that has sometimes reduced me to tears. The kindness of strangers can be a powerful healer. It is.Today's circle showed that. We were pressed for time. In fact the Judge's arrival was to happen anytime after 5pm and we had been booked in till 5.30pm. So in all we had an hour in that space. And what we all felt happen there in that one small hour was utterly humbling.

I still dont know why I feel so drawn to be there, to sit in circle. Yet I do. And I shall continue to go. My friends have been drawn too. One is a Sufi and Cambridge Grad, the other is the Chairman of his own company. I have sat with those who are musicians, writers, healers, tourists, students, homeless, you and me. The Circle was made up as ever of Everyman.

For we can all talk the talk. Yet here are people living the blogs, the facebook posts, the coffee shop banter. I came home to a warm flat, good food and safety. My heart shall be forever filled with those I have sat in circle with in the last 3 weeks who do not have that luxury. For we are all a breath away from being that person. We are a person away. In the circle we drum, sing and open our hearts with all- all are equal and after that there can be no separation. After that we can no longer sit in cafes and talk about the changes we wish to make in the world, the changes to come. For the circle calls to us, to be that change, not just in thought and intention- in heart led action.

Yes this was a ragged circle. We all kept our coats and shoes on. I would have loved more time to share, to sing and drum. Many things were not so perfect. Yet in that was our perfection. For despite all the distractions and the restrictions, the Spirit of the Circle of that Community that came together through a following of the heart was strong, was Truth led and spoke from the Heart. What more can one ask for?

Till the next time.

"The time has come to turn your heart
into a temple of fire.
Your essence is gold hidden in dust.
To reveal its splendour
you need to burn in the fire of love" Rumi

"What pure perfection Love is,
pure perfection!
What an illusion our ego is,
What an illusion!
This love is a glory,
What Glory!
Today is the day of union,
the day of our union" Rumi

Intention at Occupy London

Today's circle at The Bank of Ideas was the hardest of the last 2 weeks. The space had a very different energy today, perhaps as the eviction looms.

When I walked in, I noticed the initial open doors policy had been replaced with a make shift security system. I thought Id arrived at the wrong place at first and as I stood on the doorstep with my 2 hand drums and  wrapped in layers to keep out the cold, the door was opened and I was greeted by a really friendly security guy. As I walked through the building the buzz had been replaced today with a mutedness. Not of spirit or intention, just it seemed of weariness. Of fighting the good fight, being in the 99% and yet where is the shift in the 1%? The state of limbo from the world we know and want to change to the world that is yet to be birthed. Some people may feel that pre Christmas fatigue from too much shopping, drinking, partying, eating, cooking. Here it was being felt at a deeper level. And there was still the uncertainty of the future.

As the temperatures have dropped, so the Bank was bitterly cold in some rooms. The night before there had been a cabaret and so people were also tired from that. So all in all a very different vibe to the buzz of last week and I felt that and it left me feeling unsure. Should I even be here? If people are tired and nursing hangovers do they really want a couple of people banging drums and sitting in circle burning sage and talking about Unconditional Love?

My friend and I started to set up the space. As he went to chat to people and invite them to join us I drummed and cleared the space. The whole time thinking why am I here? Today even my intention was not clear or as strong.

He came back to tell me lunch was just being served and people were busy with that but there was a lot of interest. And I was starting to notice this trend. Of desires and intention coming from the heart, from the fire of deep seated passions and then somehow these losing a focus. Or a follow through. We were joined by a man from Canada who started to share with us his journey and how he was at a point in his life where he was unsure of the next step. He was looking to re connect with himself. A man came in with  a bowl of food. My friend asked him to join. He sat with us with his plate of food and started to tell us his name, how to spell it ( with a number at the end) why he was here, what he thought of the government and much more. It was hard to know where his focus was. His mind seemed to dart from one thought to the next. He liked the smell of the sage, he said he would be sleeping here tonight in this large, cold room. He had his suitcase and a pillow with him.

We were joined by 2 others. Their stories shared started to reveal that today's circle had a common theme: homelessness and a real need to feel safe. One told me he had been on the streets for a month and it was just too much for him. He was young, probably still in his teens. He had come to the Bank for shelter. He said  it was warm, the people were nice and he felt safe. There was also food and he liked being here. His needs were simple, to feel safe, to be warm, to be part of a community. He wanted to feel like he was part of something. His friend said much the same too. Of wanting to feel part of something, to be part of a community and the only community they had found to do that had been the Occupy Movement, that had asked nothing in return. Instead offered free food, shelter and that sense of one-ness. Just holding that space on a daily basis is a big thing for people to do day in day out with no returns and I was starting to see how that was also impacting on the people holding this space, this movement.

After sharing in circle, we started to open our voices. The concept of singing makes people think they may have to hold a tune, instead of just letting sound out. The intention behind this- to access our sense of Inner Freedom, of allowing our Truth out. How can we fight for Freedom when we have yet to taste it. But we had still not called in the Elements and we needed to do that. Except the circle kept shifting. Now the man who spelt his name with a number had left, someone else had joined and suddenly we had a new energy to this collective. And now we were exchanging names again and our stories and dreams. And still there remained the common thread. Homelessness. Pasts that people wanted to leave behind, and a yearning for a new way of being. A yearning to be in the heart to be in the Truth.

So we sang in a round, opening to sounds. I had been a bit sceptical, would people actually go for this, would they be too shy?  Still people walked in and out of the room. At the end of the room a man with a dog was just sat watching us with a mug of tea. I was finding focus so hard this time in this space. I could hear noises from all the other rooms. Yet the sounds people started to release were beautiful. Primal, connected, heart felt and the circle did that person by person. We found a faltering, shy harmony, based on our own individual truths. The man with the dog had joined us by now and the dog lay between us at our feet.

We stopped and shared. The man from Canada said he was so happy to be in a space where people were so free and honest. We then took this onto our feet and brought some gentle drum beats in. The intention had been to get people used to the drum and the voice. Still we had not called in the elements. Every time I went to do that, something distracted us. So we stood and sang and my friend provided a gentle drum beat. And we found a stronger circle connection. Then as we drew to a close, 2 of the members left. Had they had enough? Were they called somewhere else? I dont know. I opened my eyes and they were gone. So we closed the circle. And I felt the loss. We had just built a bond and they then left. And yet somewhere in that I felt the resonance of their stories they had shared, of the displacement and the homelessness. It was if that lack of stability, that lack of focus was now a part of their inner dialogue. That at any given moment they could get up and leave.

I know people in my life who have slept on the streets. I have never thankfully been in that position. The closest I came was last year, when after having moved places 3 times in one year, I was faced with a 4th move 10 days before Christmas and nowhere to go. I walked the streets in the snow every day in that time period looking for a place to live and that sense of fear and panic at where would I sleep/live was one of the most painful times in my life. I did have a safety net. I had and have dear friends and also family who were able to help. Had I not, I truly do not know where I would be now. But as I moved around and slept on floors, I started to get that sense of scatteredness in my being. My mind was constantly racing, I was distracted by things easily and could not stay focused on anything for very long. My heart was constantly racing. It is very hard to describe. Home is security and safety. Which allows us to be in our Truth and in our Power. When that is gone then the things we take for granted like warmth, clean clothes, feeling good in our bodies because we had a good nights sleep, or just knowing we will be able to sleep become priorities. And then things like intentions of life purpose, joy, love become things more and more alien. So in our circle which was now being made up of this common thread I was seeing that. A real yearning for love, yet ask someone what their intention was for this circle, for the year to come and it was hard to get an answer. To get those thoughts ordered. I asked one man and he said he didnt know, then that he had said it already. When I asked him again, and I was pushy with it, what do you want in your life in 2012?- he stopped. Then said, I want a new start, I want the pain of the past to leave my life, I want my life to start. He wanted to feel connected to his essence and to live it and he expressed that so beautifully.

We finally called in the elements and this time I also asked one of the circle who had been there last time to join in this. He called in the elements of Water and Earth. Calling them in for us all to connect with the might, the energy, the wisdom. To bring us closer to our environment and to ourselves. He had never done this before, but we needed at least a third person or my friend and I would be calling in 7 times between us! And he did this with such grace and poetry. Words flowed from him, in meter and rhyme. It was so very powerful and heartfelt and incredible. Last week he did not understand what any of this meant and had asked why we did this. This week it was like he had done this his whole life. It was so very beautiful. Awe inspiring.

And so we drummed and sang. And it was hard going. Very hard. People kept walking in and out. I could hear people coming in and taking photos on their phones. Sometimes I opened my eyes to see people just watching us. The circle was mixed, some were sitting, some new people had joined and they were lying down, some were standing. And so we drummed and we sang. And then we sang without the drum and still it felt hard. The room was freezing cold. And then just like that something happened and it was as if the drums took on a life of their own. Even with my eyes shut, the light in the room seened to change and suddenly the voices took on a different resonance and it felt like there was singing coming from all around us. I saw our ragged circle, some on the floor, some sitting some standing singing and moving their feet. We had been guided down a real wayward path this afternoon and then right here right in this moment was a sense of unity and power and connection with such vulnerability that my heart felt the beauty and pain of that.

Afterwards we shared, we held hands and we closed circle. Speaking our heart felt Truths. We were a circle of 7 men and one woman ( me)! and this had been a very unique experience. A myriad of experiences and stories in one space. We had set our intentions with our sticks of sage again to release later. And just as we closed one of the men who had left to go to a meeting had returned. He was the one who had struggled to initially voice his intention. He said he still had his stick of sage, were we still going to be doing a ceremony and drumming, he wanted to focus his intention. His child like open-ness and desire is still in my heart now. He came back! I liked the fact we were still there in circle. That he did not come back to am empty room. Somehow that felt healing in itself. At least I hope so.

There has been such a beauty and open-ness to all who I have met in these circles at Occupy. People you look at immediately and shamefully make a judgement on- they will never get this, this isnt their thing- open their mouths and such a yearning for Love and Change flows. Such a desire for Community and not for companionship in a selfish sense but for equality and a new way of being. And such an open-ness to Spirit, to the elements, a respect for the world we live in, the environment and a real desire to help those who need it. I have met gentle, inquisitive, hurt, articulate, bright, creative souls. And the intelligence of debate and the open heartedness has truly humbled me. I have received warm, open, heart -exposed hugs. And the same words are repeated: Love, Community, Unity, Unconditional Love, Change.  As we left the space one of the women who had sat in circle with us 2 weeks ago, who had said she had just felt drawn to the space, and she didnt know why, was now holding a workshop. She was surrounded by a group of people all listening as she spoke on something. She was now holding her own space, in this reclaimed building in the centre of London.

Far from being a flash in the pan or a nuisance, the Occupy Movement is a heart centred consciousness that has taken to the streets. Because it is Heart and Peace led, it gets bruised, and the people in it feel things deeply. Because it is heart led it is attracting many elements of society who have been yearning or searching. Because it is Heart led, I believe it is the first, loud cry for change and the New we shall step into. The wayward circle showed me today, that the will of the collective is hard to be a part of, to put aside the ego and the mind. That as this many limbed creation struggles to crawl and walk, there will be times when it feels like pushing a mountain up a hill, times when the focus will be lost and times when things will need to be taken at a slower pace. As long as the collective is able to find a way to manage this new creation, this multi limbed, big hearted, creative, at times confused, at times utterly in flow creation, then it will be this energy that shall ride the shifts to come and create the ripples amongst us all to break free in our personal and global lives. Occupy is the beginning of the call to truly come home to ourselves and our Global Community. To Occupy the One-ness in all things, in us all. It is hard, yet there are a tasters of the Beauty that can be.

The next circle shall be at The Tent City University, outside St Paul's on Monday 19th 4pm.

Till the next meeting.

The Drum at Occupy London

The second circle at the occupied UBS building, now The Bank of Ideas took place on Human Rights Day and the day of the Full Moon Eclipse.

This time we were in a much larger room and further back, presumably so we could make some noise. My friend was already waiting for me when I arrived in the space and I laughed. On one wall there was a giant mural Banksy Style, on a small pillar was a painting of David Cameron giving the V sign and not for Victory! And on the back wall was a giant painted rainbow with the words" Change" across it. There were bits of rubble on the floor.

A Shamanic Healer had said to me in the week:" Drum and they will come". But I doubted this. It was not how I did things, waiting for something to happen. So while my friend drummed in the space, I went around the building putting up signs and telling people about the circle. Most people knew about it already from the noticeboard of course. In one room people were busy sewing and making banners. There were people playing guitar and drums and a table with someone dressed in a Santa outfit giving out hot drinks. Another room was being used as a place to sleep. Downstairs in the chill out area, people were busy working on computers. The whole building was buzzing with activity; workshops, events, gatherings, a charge. It was the first time my friend had visited and it was that charge he had noticed.

I had heard that people were also tired, with the constant pushing forward of momentum. That there were feelings of loneliness for some who were drawn to this place of community and then went back to their own lives of lack. None of this detracts from the simple Truth. People who feel strongly about change, have not sat in a coffee shop or down the pub and talked about it, they have got up and done something about it. The people who are part of this movement are a cross section. They are educated, articulate, spiritual, atheist, driven, lost, passionate, in pain, professionals, homeless......they are all of us. Except they are stepping out of the confines of the Known into the New.

The impetus for the circle came from sitting on the steps of St Pauls. Community was springing up and it needed something that can hold it strong. Circle work is powerful and multi layered. It can involve many rituals, it can involve teachings passed down. It can be about cleansings or visions on an intense level. What I am learning is that it is just what is needed at that time. At this time the Circle is showing me, guiding me, that what is needed is a strong centre, in all of us and in the collective. A true connection to that inner Truth and Power. An ability to connect with all and accept all. For what we cannot embrace in the circle we cannot embrace in the world. The person who sits next to us, who sits opposite is our mirror, our guide. We learn from each other. We heal each other. We share, we drum, we sing and in so doing we bring healing to ourselves, to the land we sit on and to those around us. It really can be that simple.In fact it needs to be that simple at Occupy. The drum, the voice, the intention, the circle. The connection and the heart led sharing. That is what is needed here right now.

Three people drifted in. I went off to get some more. I had forgotten the beauty of those words: Drum and they shall come. I was pushing. Not allowing. I came back and three people were still there. Well then the circle would involve the 5 of us and it would be just fine. We smudged the space. Drummed to clear the space. Sat in circle. Started to introduce ourselves. Ever in the background one could hear singing from the room next door and there was a steady stream of people walking through the room to get to another bit of the building. It was hard to stay focused. As we started to share a few more drifted in and joined. We smudged each person in the circle and as I sat back down, a dog came into the room, had a sniff around some of our things and then left. He was wearing a bright red jacket.

People shared why they were here. Some wanted to know more about drumming and connecting with Spirit. I explained my role was not one of the teacher, we all find our own teachers, no one can impose that on us. We were there just to hold the space and allow what need be. Others wanted to drum. Others wanted to connect with themselves deeper, to find clarity for the movement, to find energy for the work they were here in this space to do. To find healing. To find.

We focused on our purpose. Taking a piece of sage to later burn and release to the elements with the power of our intentions, we all spoke aloud our intentions for the New Year. The drumming and singing would be the energy, the fuel for our group intention of community and healing and our specific individual intentions. Which beautifully were about unconditional love, hope for those in pain, healing for those with mental and physical pain.

Just as we were about to start a film crew walked in and asked to record us. We had just had 2 photographers milling around us before this. A lesson in staying focused on the common purpose. This was a free building, people here owned nothing and it was not my place to speak for the circle and disallow anything if others did not object. This was another teaching. Group consensus. And still in the background people walked through the room, slamming doors. Yes, this was urban connecting at its' most basic. And hard. To not have the elements around you, to be connecting in the middle of a city, surrounded by steel and the energies of finance and gain. And yet if we could connect, if we could find healing and ground that in this space, how potent would that be. What a lesson for us all.

And so we drummed and sang, those without a drum clapped. Afterwards we shared our experiences of vulnerability, of connecting with Mother Earth and her birthing pains of the New, with ourselves, with each other. Of the beginnings of throwing off the shackles of Society in a large room in Moorgate, in an occupied building. Of feeling the beginnings of freedom in us. For how can we create it in the world if we have not tasted it yet in us. And we shared ideas on this Shift. The change from the mind to the heart, from ego to unconditional Love. Some of the men sharing this was harder for them, to be in the Heart Centre. They felt women had always done it. Perhaps. For we are being asked to Love to be the Change in the World. We held hands, we felt that raw, vulnerable, truthful heart led energy of our circle. 13 strong in this unlikeliest of places. Connecting and then releasing to now carry that in our hearts and into our worlds.Next time some said they would like to really dance to the music, to feel that freedom. Next time.

Change happens in many ways. Through the gentle drip drip of moments. Through a gradual awakening, while life is busy happening, And it can happen overnight. We all know our lives can change in a moment. How we respond to that wave is what empowers us. The Occupy Movement has harnessed that wave of yearning for the New that in our coffee houses, pubs and houses has been talked about. That in spiritual and guided circles has been dreamt for who knows how long. It feels forever. And as that dream starts to become what people can see to be the ever changing true reality, as the reality reveals itself to be an illusion, empowerment comes in feeding the dream of the collective and the inner with the purest essence of our soul's voice.

As the circle closed, bouyed with the beauty of what had just happenened in just under 2 hours, we were joined by someone in pain. He was high on something and he asked if he could join the circle. I had just been talking about Unconditional Love and here it was- were all welcome? Truly? He joined our circle and we held hands again and sent our prayers out again and included and held his energy too. For he had asked to be included and just like that we had done so. We had included him in the Community. I was humbled by the lesson and by the beauty of all sat in this circle. Those who believed in Spirit, those who did not, those who kept their eyes open when drumming and singing in case they missed anything and those who allowed themselves to just go where they needed to.

As I was leaving one of the older women who had sat with us hugged me goodbye. She said the space needed to be cleared here and people needed healing. To hear the drum beat. To feel that energy of  connection. And she gave me such sweet words of wisdom and guidance and strength that I was yet again overwhelmed by the beauty of what can happen when we set an intention with our hearts. Every person in that room had said they had followed a feeling/calling to be there. They had followed their hearts. And when we open ourselves to Change, to being in the moment, to being in the Truth, our Truth, to connection and vulnerability, what can we not achieve.

Occupy is a Movement born from the yearnings of the Heart, for a time when we are moving into the Heart Consiousness.It is providing free food, free shelter, free workshops, and refuge for so many. The drum for me could be the underlying heart beat of this change. Inclusive. Healing. Empowering. Political change can come about through many pathways. Focused, heart led, truth led, connected desire can be the change.

The next Circle shall be on Monday the 19th from 4-5.30pm outside St Pauls.

Till the next time.

The Circle at Occupy London

A while back I was asked to go  down to the St Paul's Occupy site and donate some of my time to their Welfare Tent as a Reiki Healer. The area I was told was attracting many in need and the welfare tent had sprung out of that desire for some healing in this space.

When I finally went down to the site I was amazed by the level of dedication and desire for community and change. Something ommitted from mainstream media reports. On my last visit as I sat on the steps of St Paul's and witnessed the tangle of the times of shift we are in I felt called to come back to the space and this time bring Shamanic Circle to the land and those on it. I watched as news crews followed Jon Snow around, masked men gave out "free hugs" ( I got one!), a speakers platform was buzzing with addresses to the crowds and tourists and Londoners alike felt the desire to record this significant event on their phones and cameras.

What makes this Occupy Movement significant? For me the real heart felt desire for community and a coming together. In the gathered tents and placards one can feel a yearning for a society of One-ness, of equality and of Truth. The Mayans recorded much of the shifts to come in 2012. Some have talked of this time being an end of the World. For me this end is a ceasing of the World Order as we know it ( however that may happen) and a move from the world of mind, greed, and what is called The Divine Masculine into the heart centre, Truth, The Divine Feminine and The Unconditional Love Consciousness. What does this mean for us as individuals? It means we love despite the pain, despite the restrictions, despite the differences between us. We love because we see Society as a reflection of ourselves and an extension of Family. We choose Peace as the force for change.

Shamanic Circle work embodies just that. In the circle all are equal, all are One and our hopes and desires, yearnings and fears are voiced, shared, acted out in ritual and through this we come to know that we are not alone. That the barriers we feel separate us are illusory and that though we may not always agree, there is place for all. For if we can make peace within the circle we can make peace within the world. This shift cannot come about through force. That was how we birthedt it for years. This time if we are to combat the might of those we seek to educate, we seek to change, then this must be done through the power of the group as One. Through Love. And this does not mean being passive, this does not mean sitting in a room and sending Love only. This requires us to be Warriors of the Open Heart. To seek change not through conflict but through another way. A heart felt, Spirit led way. By connecting with the elements, our environment, each other and the Truth in us.

We were booked into the Bank of Ideas for the first Shamanic Circle at The Occupy Site. The room was empty, cold, and rough and ready. It was reclaimed property after all. Whilst I set up the space, my friend went around the building and announced the circle. And soon enough people started drifting in. They did not know what to expect, only one had done Shamanic work before. They had heard there would be some drumming and  they felt drawn.

The circle was a mix of those who were visiting London, to those with no spiritual beliefs, to those who were sleeping on the streets and had done for many years to those who just wanted to soak up the drumming. As we sang to the Land and gave thanks to the bloodline that had brought us to this potent time, the energy of the circle grew and the connection was heart felt.

Towards the end of this ceremony I was called away by someone who said the sounds of our drumming was disturbing their movie screening downstairs. As I followed him round the building, trying to explain we were in the middle of ceremony, that people in this space were healing and could we not make some noise for 20 mins longer I left my friend with the circle. Standing, eyes closed, facing outwards, connecting to their ancestors. I must have been gone over 10 mins. And I will  be honest all my talk of unconditonal love was going out the window as I was trying to find a room, facing a lack of organisation as people find their feet in this new space, and worrying about those left standing literally in ceremony upstairs. About 10-15 mins later I went back into the room, not sure how we would close the circle, ashamed that I had let this group of people down. They would have got bored and left by now. When I walked into the room, all were standing still, eyes closed, backs to the circle, connecting still with their hearts. Our lesson was right there. In these times of Chaos and shift, the way to survive is to stay connected to each other, to community and to the Truth we feel in our hearts. As we shared afterwards, each  person had had a profound experience. And all this in a room with old grey carpet, no heating and fading lights from the street. I was humbled by the dedication to healing, to connection these strangers had shown each other and the circle. What can we not achieve if that profound respect for something greater, that desire for healing is channelled into pro active expression. The human spirit is mighty.

To please the group on the floor below I decided we would not drum. So instead we sang and we clapped in unsion, allowing the rythmns of our souls to rise free. And it was that simple. A group of people who had never met before, sat in circle, moving as One. We closed the space, holding hands and giving thanks for all we had shared and the Love, Truth and Inner Power we had tasted.

Afterwards someone told me a simple tale. In a Shamanic community in Devon- every morning they meet to sit in circle. Each person volunteers for that day's role- whether this be kitchen duty or something else. One person is the "dreamer". In Shamanic circles, in many traditions, we are told all we see is an illusion- a construct of the mind. The Truth happens in the Dream scape. For we can dream the world we wish to live in. John Lennon told us to Imagine. And the Dreamer in the circle will go out in nature and connect in with the elements and see what dreams come to them. They then return and share. What if, said this woman, every office meeting on a monday morning started like this? And the dreamer went out to bring back innate knowledge from the heart of nature. What if? I asked myself just that as I left the Bank, my heart filled with the beauty of Connection and such profound vulnerability. One member said he felt the world was just an extension of the Family we have. He spoke with such eloquence and passion for being as One. I could see he had slept for some time on the streets. If nothing else, the reclaimed Bank is providing shelter, community, healing and hope to so many who have remained our Forgettens for too long.

May the re-membering begin.

Aho.

Occupy London

I visited the St Paul's Occupy London site this week. Expecting the deluge of crazed hippies and down and outers that it seems the Media likes to focus on. The rage and the anger, the mess and the inconvenience to St Pauls.

What did I find? A Welfare Tent, where healers and counsellors are donating their time to those being drawn to the site from the area, an Info tent with a library and workshops and events happening in a separate space. The same Hare Krishna's I had met at the anti war protests last month, giving out free, hot food. A trio of masked people giving out " Free Hugs". In front of St Paul's there were people drumming, giving speeches, camera crews and then Jon Snow popped by and through. The walls of surrounding buildings were starting to get covered in posters, pictures, writings on Freedom, Democracy, yearnings for an end to the Wars, Equality, poetry and statements of support. There were portaloos on site, tents of all shapes and sizes and people milling about smiling and nodding hello to each other. The Police stood on the sidelines and watched. I did not feel intimidated, overwhelmed or confused. I felt this was a community rising up in the middle of London. It was made up a real mix of people from all walks of life. It also consisted of those in need of help, the homeless, the addicted and one organisor told me they had to call in the Police for the odd bit of unrest. For the camp was a place of Peace.

What exactly are these people protesting about? Well I would not say it was a Protest. It seemed more to be a cry to take to the streets and reclaim the Land and in that Power. It was a call from the people of London that they had had enough of not being listened to. As if to say: we have taken to the streets and marched, we have made some noise, we have gathered in our millions and made our presence felt and said No to illegal wars, no to the abuse by banks, of the erosion of our human rights and still the machinery of the Government moves forward. Still there is inequality,still there is a want for a better life. So if no one will listen then we shall have no choice but to reclaim this Land. And that is what has happened. A small patch of Land has been reclaimed by those of the Land.

And so now what? How long will this impasse last and what is the solution forward?  What does this show us? Across the world there have been uprisings and protests. Some have been violent, many have been led with Peace and a sense of Dignity in the face of State Aggression. How long will governments continue to ignore those very people they are in "power" to serve, the very people they court when election times arrive, who they ply with promises that wither in the stark reality of Governance? This cannot be an indefinite reality. Some say that the Occupy Movement has had its' time. That is debatable. The organisation is growing, more people are being drawn to make a stand in this way, more Land has been reclaimed. Groups are springing up on camp to support those in need, those with addictions, those who feel alienated from society to find a way to empower themselves. This is professionals giving up their time. This is Community growing in our midst and joining not through a love of x factor but through a desire for Change. I'm sure a fair few people find this unsettling. I find it inspiring. For if it does nothing else than spark debate, if one person goes down there and has their photo taken next to a tent, then goes home and ponders the question of Why this is happening, the seeds of Change have been sown. The daily presence of the camps are a constant reminder to those in the City that there is something at the heart of London that needs to be addressed and it shall not go away, it shall not be silenced and it shall not give up. Sit up and take note- this Movement has only just woken up.

Democracy v Hypocrisy

Saturday’s anti war rally was a mixture of peaceful protest and police antagonism. There were banners for Peace, Hare Krishna’s singing and giving away free food and passionate speeches from Julian Assange, George Galloway and Jeremy Corbyn amongst others.
After the speeches the rally moved to 10 Downing Street for a peaceful protest outside. As we started to move off, the STWC stewards formed a line at the front of the procession to lead the march. I have volunteered for this in the past and have felt how charged the energies are. It was a real mix of ages, colours and sexes on this protest and I was struck by how many young people had turned out to make their voice heard. As the procession started to move the police formed a line behind and were telling people to move out of the way.  As our camerawoman and myself tried to move a Police Medic- yes that’s right Police Medic- remember that- shoved me forcefully. As I was walking, as I was moving, with no eye contact, no obvious judgement of the situation, just a rough shove so that I nearly fell onto the person in front of me who was also trying to move.  Are these the new tactics we are expected to get used to?
What I was sensing already and this was different from other peaceful protests I had been on was the level of Police hostility. I could not see anyone with anything that would make them seem armed, I did not see any cans of lager, did not smell any dope and there was no hint of aggression in the crowds. I was certainly not giving off that air and yet here they were treating us all as if we were unruly animals that needed to be herded.
This behaviour only amplified when we reached 10 Downing Street. As the crowds gathered round and shouted slogans of illegal war and no to war, the police started rushing in and climbing onto walls and bollards outside No 10 with long lenses cameras and photographing everyone in the crowd. Others were taking down notes of people, what they were wearing.
None of these people were violent; none of them were threatening to be violent. I was filming in the middle of the crowd and I did not feel unsafe or like something would kick off. So why were the Police using such heavy handed techniques. If I see a police officer taking my photo when all I am doing is exercising my right to Free Speech that instantly makes me feel attacked in some way. Like my rights are being trampled on.
Pretty soon the usual tactics were being employed. One by one the yellow jackets started to close in. Like a scene from The Birds, you turn around and you are suddenly surrounded by police. So within a few minutes the whole length of the road from Trafalgar Square to beyond Downing Street was lined with Police officers.
The protests and chanting continued and across the road others had gathered. We crossed the road and witnessed a passionate group of Middle Eastern men waving flags and chanting: Free Free Egypt, Free Free Syria, Free Free The Middle East. They were shouting from their hearts, they were shouting with a yearning for Freedom. It was mesmerising to watch.
After a time as the crowds dispersed a bit we decided to cross back over to 10 Downing Street. As I went to put my foot on the road a large police officer told me I was not allowed to cross the road. Why I asked. Because I say so he said. Why can’t I cross the road I asked, I want to go to that side of the road. I say so and he started to stand in front of me. No one is allowed to cross this road you have to stay here. Just at that moment a group of people crossed over the road- what like them I said, they just did. He said nothing. Are you telling me I am not allowed to cross the road I asked him. He sighed and rolled his eyes and had nothing to say. Why I asked again can those people cross the road and I can’t. He said nothing. I moved away, either he just didn’t like the way I looked- I was wearing a long padded coat and carrying a large rucksack with our filming kit in it. Maybe it was that! I walked away still none the wiser as to why I had just been stopped.
Further down a man was being dragged from the pavement into a police van packed with about 5-6 police men. He had crossed his arms and straightened his legs. 2-3 officers were dragging him into the van. People gathered round. Why is he being arrested? Where is he being taken? Some people knew him and told him to be strong. I asked one of the passersby what had happened. He was going to cross the road and they told him he could not step onto the pavement on this side of the road. When he asked why they said they would arrest him. So he sat down and refused to move and they arrested him. Well did I just escape arrest then for the same thing? This was ridiculous. The police were stopping ordinary citizens from crossing the road at the traffic lights at will. With no justification.  What was going on, when had these types of powers been given to the police and why was the public never informed of this?
I finally made it back to the Holy Grail- outside 10 Downing Street- to find a small crowd gathered around a young woman who was sat on a pavement. Somewhere near her a man was speaking into a camera about what had just happened. I asked him to explain, he said the woman was  a 17 year old girl; she had been hit over the head with a police baton. Why I asked. Because she was asked to cross the road and as she was doing this the police man hit her. The same Police Medic who had pushed me so roughly was now standing near her. What was going on here? Why were people being manhandled, beaten over the head, arrested, pushed at a peaceful protest? There was no violence; there was no sense of danger of violence from the crowd. The only sense of danger I got was from the Police, who seemed hyped up.
After an incredible interview with a very passionate speaker, we decided to stay around for a while and catch snatches of Police conversations as they stood in lines around us. The gists of conversations were along the lines of being fed up, wanting to go home and wanting the protest to end. Oh just hurry up and go home. Said one officer behind me to some people who were singing protest songs.
Finally after a while there was a small group left outside Downing Street.  An officer came up to me to tell me if we did not all move we would all be arrested. Why I asked, I’m just standing here. You can’t stand in the road he said. Fair enough, can I go stand over there I asked. No he said. You can only go and stand in the designated protest area on the other side of the road. The what? The designated protest area?  I asked him if this was not somehow a breach of my human rights, my right to free speech. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. Dunno he said and walked off. When did freedom of expression get put into a designated area?
So we dutifully crossed over and stood on the other side of the road. About 10 mins later Officer R came up to me and told me I could not stand there. Why I asked again. Frankly I was tired of being told I could not stand on a pavement any more. You have to stand behind that bollard he said. I was leaning on the bollard. In front and behind was the difference of one foot. Why can’t I stand here I said. Behind me was a group of teenagers having a heated conversation with the Police about the same thing. They along with a father and his son had just been pushed across the road by Police who told them to go stand in the designated area or be arrested. The teenagers were saying the only reason they were not being arrested was because they were underage.
I looked at Officer R and said, I’m not with them. So I am not causing any trouble. I am standing here and watching the protest. No you are part of the group he said. What group I asked. I am standing here by myself. I am an individual, not part of any group.You are all the same he said. I am an individual I said again. When did we become a society that herded people into groups? This was becoming a real nuisance. Seriously, was it my padded coat?
I moved away after a while and stood in front of a wall a little further away from the teenagers and the police. After about 5 mins while I was talking to our camerawoman, the same insidious tactics started and like The Birds the Yellow Jackets started to creep round me. I now had a ring of police behind me effectively blocking me from going anywhere. I spoke a bit louder than usual and said I had noticed the insidious tactics and it made me think of cockroaches.
Officer R heard me- well I had had enough! And turned around. He looked at me and I looked at him, called him by his name (on his uniform) and said hello. I asked him if he enjoyed his job and he said no. He said he was going to be retiring soon. And leaving London I said, by the sea? Yes he said. I asked him if he thought that this is what he would be doing when he signed up all those years ago. No he said. We don’t want to be here anymore than you want us here. They take us away from what we normally do (he was in charge of policing pick pocketing in the area) and bring us here, and take all the police off the streets for the day.  He told me he did not agree with the war but that if he ever made that view known publicly or went on an anti war march, in his own time he would lose his job. He would lose his job if he disagreed with Government Foreign Policy in his own personal time. Yes. He would lose his job!
He also told me that if there were enough stewards on these marches then there would be no need for as many Police. Good point. Why were there so few stewards? Has the STWC lost its momentum in recent years? I had seen few stewards on this march compared to all the others over the years I have gone on or stewarded on. The last steward I had encountered on the other side of the road had been oblivious to the call for us to move and instead as we were filming grabbed our camerawoman to tell her he liked her shoes and he had a pair just like those!
It was an interesting end to the day chatting to Officer R. He seemed tired of this whole set up, of telling people where they can and cannot stand and of being taken away from the work he wanted to do. When we finished chatting and I shook his hand and said it had been a pleasure I saw his colleagues look over at us and it wasn’t with approval. It was as if he had been caught with the enemy.
We have much to concern ourselves with here. Our freedoms are being eroded day by day. Right to protest, to free speech and somehow we have sleepwalked into allowing this to happen. "This is not a democracy, this is hypocrisy!" So said one of our interviewees.
I am not denying that the protests were charged, they were. People want an end to this War. The Police hold a responsibility to keep the peace, not to disrupt it. The biggest disruptive element for me was their behaviour. Behaviour sanctioned by our Government.How can the UK possibly wager war on other nations on the basis of bringing democracy to a nation when it so blatantly is destroying the foundations of democratic existence in its’ own country.
It is time for a serious change.
May the winds of change blow strong, clear and with dignity.

Harmonious Living

In the last 6 months I have heard a lot of stories of people living with "neighbours from Hell". Perhaps I am more aware of it and am so seeking these kinds of posts/comments as I too am suffering at the hands of such neighbours.

Since moving in here I have been utterly amazed at how much noise can affect your life detrimentally and at how unaware of others some people can be, especially when living in close proximity. It brings me back to our sense of community. How have tribes around the world been able to do it. How do communes do it. Why are we with all our knowledge and so called modernity unable to be respectful of our neighbours. To think how would I feel if that was happening to me.

The day I moved in, I changed the locks and that resulted in some drilling. Within about 5 mins the woman from upstairs had come downstairs to tell me the noise had to stop. It was 8pm on a Sunday evening and she was now having to go out for dinner because of my noise. I was shamefaced and a little upset. I wanted to get on with my neighbours and I was only changing the locks to feel safe in my new home. That very same evening, 2 hrs later, this same woman was slamming doors and talking so loudly I could hear everything below her flat. I thought perhaps she was getting her own back. Oh no! That was just the way she was. For the next month I did not get a single night's sleep because of the noise from her flat. From loud music, to shouting matches with her partner, to late night parties, to loud radios in the morning, to consistent door slamming. I felt truly like I had falled into a pit of pure pain.

The truly amazing thing was she was obviously sensitive to noise or she would not have come down to tell me to stop. Yet was utterly unaware of her actions. Before she left the building ( and she thankfully did) we did infact have a nice chat and she was very friendly. But still totally unaware of her noise levels. I did mention as politely as I could and she could not entertain the idea. Instead she talked about how noisy HER neighbours below her were! How was this possible? Was I doing the same? Thankfully not. I spoke to my neighbours in turns, passing each other in the halls and it turned out that 2 things were consistent. No one had any complaints about me making any noise. Quiet as a mouse said my neighbour. Second the same people who complained about noise made the most themselves.

Oh isnt't it awful when all you hear is the front door slamming says one. Cue the next time they go out- slam! And this not once but time and again. So somewhere between experiencing the issue and then being the issue what fell short. I would say its the old saying of walking in another man's shoes. I dont live on the ground floor, but I can imagine that the people who live down there get a lot of noise from the main door, from the people above them and the street so I dont want to add to that. I dont have a new born baby, but I can imagine that if there was somone with a young child I would not want to be making too much noise late at night. I'm no saint. I play my music loud sometimes, but not deafening. I dance around the flat, but wouldnt wear heels and do that on a wooden floor. Mainly because I dont want to be told I have impinged on someone else's space and time.

Yet the very same type of mentality that throws litter on the ground, that doesn't feel compelled to give an old lady or a pregnant woman a seat on the train, that says oh isn't it awful the level of criminality during the riots, but fiddles their tax return or sees someone drop something and keeps it than hand it over; can infllict on others and only be concerned when they are affected. Is unable to be mindful of others.

I shall continue to close doors quietly, to buy plants for the front porch to the building, to hoover the communal area that is my responsibility because that is the kind of community I want to live in. Though it makes me sad when I dont see it reciprocated there are nuggets of joy. Talking to the lady downstairs I told her what a hard time it had been with all the noise, chatted about other things and then went back to my housework, Half an hour later as I was hoovering the communal stairs she told me they had just hoovered their bit, and had put my potted plants in prime position by the front door. You remind me of my daughter she said. Exactly! We are all someone's daughter. We share space with someone's mother, sister, father, son. That is how community works. By creating with awareness an extended family.

In a community whether tribal or a commune, people learn to live together. To think of your neighbour as well as yourself. As well as, ie in the same way as you do for yourself. I don't like this, will someone else? When we feel that we are isolated, when we live in the fantasy constructs of big brother and celeb culture, we don't think we have to bother with anyone else. We are the stars of our own show and no one else gets a look in. If we cannot feel peaceful and relaxed in our own homes, then how can we contribute to the world, to society. If I have been disturbed by hammering and drilling all day, I feel disturbed. If the day has been peaceful, I feel at peace too. I can then take that out into the day. So maybe Everyman cannot change the issues across the world instantly. But we can change things at home, literally, with our neighbours. Like a country with it's borders. We can choose to create enemies and then build defences or attack. Or we can find a way to live side by side, in the knowledge that this peace will also be something we can take into our jobs and day to day life. And so into the World.

What is Community

Walking through the streets of Clapham today I was struck by how something had changed. It was not the boarded up shop fronts, or the greater police and media presence. It was a change in the air. Something felt like it had been purged; lifted. Almost like a bubbling resentment, anger had been let out.

For a long time I have felt there had been a lot of anger on our streets. And not just witnessed by the gang attacks or the malicious incidents but in every day life: in a shopping line, at the bus stop, on the tube. A gradual wearing down seemed to be happening of Respect and Community. Sitting on tube trains I would notice how few people gave up a seat for a pregnant woman, or took note if there was an altercation. Common decencies like letting people off a train first, please and thank you and generally being mindful of each other and our planet were less noticeable. I've walked behind people, young and I have to say old too, dropping litter with the same abandon of a rioter smashing a window- a lack of care.

Am I saying this has all disappeared? No not at all. But much in the same way that I have heard people talk about the Blitz spirit I saw some of that today. Its a sense of coming together. And quietness that may have been fear, may have been sadness, but also seemed an internal looking. For too long we have wandered around with ipods on full blast, phones dangling from our hands, our nose in a magazine and eyes glued to an ipad or media images on posters. Unaware, blocking out the world around us, each other and our inner emotions. Levels of over drinking have increased, levels of drug taking have almost become a norm, and with that a desensitizing of soul in this city. Emotions supressed, not expressed go where? Today it seemed people have been forced to really wake up and look at the city they live in, their neighbours, themselves. Ask questions: would I have done the same if presented with the opportunity, what do I want to do to the rioters, why did this happen? I heard people asking why. I heard the blinkered cries of "animals" and also heard the voice of insight: there were reasons. Animals do not attack their own. Animals attack to survive. If you are going to call these looters animals then ask why are they attacking their own. Why do they feel they need to fight for survival? We may laugh at the fact they robbbed a Poundland or a KFC; that a bag of rice is seen as a trophy; but ask what aspirations do these people have that even in the throws of so called "criminality" they set their sights on the mediocre?  And no- having a Blackberry does not mean you are privileged as ex actress Glenda Jackson thinks. It means you have a Blackberry- how you got it is another matter. More importantly deprivation takes many forms- not just the financial. From family, to support, opportunity, hope, love, sense of purpose, sense of safety- and on. We are constantly told money is not everything so why are we assuming that a nice pair of trainers and a fancy phone means all is well?

If we feel that disconnected from who we are, from where we are from, from the community in which we live then what is there to stop us hurting our own? An African proverb that is being posted on networking sites:
"If the young are not initiated, they will burn down the village just to feel its warmth".

We have lost our sense of community, worldwide and state wide. When images of people being tortured and photographed were released, when the slaughter of the innocent is seen do we feel the commonality of that blood, pain and fear? Or do we neatly segregate it into different faith, different beliefs, bad guys them, good guys us. When people walk by a homeless man begging for money in the snow as they shop for Christmas do they feel his pain? Do they think: another wino, addict, poor man, dont give him money or do they spend a monent to walk in his shoes.

There are plenty of generous people, donating and caring, I am not saying that. I am saying where is our community? Do we feel members of the World? Do we feel we are One? And that concept is not something to be shunted to esoteric circles. It is not about crystal waving hippies in some field, it is about us all as citizens of the world and caretakers of the planet and thus each other. As the proverb says, without initiation we are lost. Initiation happens in community. Small and large moments are marked and celebrated. Grievances and joys are shared. When the Shaman sit in circle, the circle represents that community. In that space everyone is equal and everyone is valued and listened to. With the celebration comes ceremony and with that a coming together to create- to build. So when people talk about the Blitz Spirit they talk of that coming together. That shared sense of being communities of the world and of together building, re building.

When we lack initiation, when our achievements no matter how small remaim unrecognised, unpraised and under valueed; when our problems are unheard and young children are committing suicide due to bullying and feeling they have no one to share this with- we seek initiation in a group that will be our surrogate commmunity. The looters, rioters whatever we call them, created their own renegade community. The ferocity with which they spread and the impact of their behaviour shows the power of coming together. Just think if all that passion, emotion and rawness was chanelled into something positive- what could we not achieve? What could we not change? Who could we become.

Riots are the language of the unheard

So said Martin Luther King. We are hearing on a loop how the violence is down to thuggery, and these "random acts of violence" have no place in our society. The same media loop that told us Jean Charles de Menezes was wearing a padded jacket and jumped the barriers. The same loop that told us we had to go to war because Iraq had "weapons of mass destruction". The same loop that tells us a handful of people turned up to show solidarity for the people of Palestine during one of many attacks on their human rights, when witnesses can say the streets were packed. The same loop that calls the flattening of buildings and homes in Afghanistan and Iraq "collateral damage" and has nothing to say of state sanctioned torture and disappearances. Are we really meant to buy this?

The biggest danger is not the youths roaming the streets, the fires being set, the looting, the fear. The biggest danger is the erosion of Human Rights this may well precipitate. Already cases are being "rushed through the courts". I want to know how sure are the police they have arrested the right person before a case is rushed. I saw 6 armed officers surround a totally innocent middle aged man yesterday because they were certain he was a terrorist. They were proven wrong. Must we still be fed the myth that the State is never mistaken, never acts like a hooligan, never disregards the feelings of others. We only have to look at the destruction of land, homes, lives during 2 illegal wars- and that is abroad and home.

I want to hear people ask why has this happened and what can we do to move forward. With traditional British stiff upper lipness- the refusal to engage with these extreme emotions: we have facebook groups suggesting we all have a nice cup of tea tonight and lead by example. Theres been enough sitting around and drinking cups of tea while innocent men are incarcerated in secret prisons,while Blair took us to 2 illegal wars, while the banks were rewarded and people lost their jobs. While the die hards were organising protests and signing petitions, the UK had a cup of tea, enjoyed some state blessed 24 hr drinking and watched X Factor. Now those that feel they have not been heard have taken to the streets. That kind of anger isnt just down to social networking or wanting a big telly- its deep seated, its almost generational. If you sat and asked a group of these people why are you doing this and really asked really listened you might hear stories of abuse, deprivation, job losses, lack of education, schools shut, stop and search powers abused and on and on. One youth from Hackney said people were sick of the police. He had been stopped 17 times in one week! You try going through that and know its happening because you are brown/black/live on the wrong street/ are being scapegoated- anything and see if you dont feel like throwing a brick or ten.

I am in no way justifying the damage, the loss, the fear. Its wrong. Its wrong when governments do it and when people do it. But lets look at how we got here. The country should be buzzing with people getting into communities, coming together sitting and talking about what can be done. Someone may be able to help re build the corner shop, someone may know the parents of the kids out there doing this and fancies going round to chat to the potential troublemakers, and so skills are pooled. But sitting at home, isolated, with your laptop, tv? Thats what got us here in the first place.

Community. Community. Share share share. Ask questions and dont accept all the answers we get. We ask and we ask and we ask again and we say we will use this to bring about the shift, the change we crave. We will most definitely not be passive in the running of our lives anymore. Sod the tea, Im going out to talk to my neighbour, to build a community. Right now.

And Then

Last night after the incident I witnessed and all the fear mongering, anger and emotion over the London riots- a double Rainbow to show there can be light at the end of this.

The face of our Fear is most definitely brown

Walking through Covent Garden today, I found myself nearly knocked over by a speeding police car down a small street with no sirens or lights on. I thought it strange they were in such a hurry but had no warning system. As I reached the Tesco’s in Covent Garden, I saw 6 heavily armed police officers surrounding a man. I walked past and saw a small, middle aged, Indian man. He was holding a white charity bucket in one hand. Two officers were standing behind him telling him not to move and to spread his legs; they were going to search him. Another 2 officers were taking all his belongings out of his small beige rucksack and reading every piece of paper and asking him about their contents. At the same time one other officer was asking him who he was, what his name was and why he was behaving suspiciously.  Someone else was going through his wallet. It seems in London these days to be Asian, and carrying a rucksack makes you instantly suspicious.

The man spoke broken English and he did not seem to quite understand what was going on. He kept saying he was collecting for charity and you could see from his body language and the way he was looking at them he was stunned and very scared. These men were tall, heavily built, all Caucasian, talking loudly, moving him around physically, going through his things and saying he had been reported for suspicious behaviour. Someone they said had seen him collecting for charity outside Covent Garden station and had called the police saying they had seen a terrorist.

You could feel the adrenalin rising in these men as they went through his bag and flashes of the fear mongering and its terrible outcome with Jean Charles went through my mind. This man had been stopped and searched purely because of the colour of his skin. If a Caucasian man or woman had been standing outside Covent Garden station with a charity bucket and a rucksack would someone have rung the police saying there is a possible terror attack? Do people go around calling the police every time they see a Big Issue seller? Or one of those chuggers? They look more threatening half the time than this small framed middle aged man. But then Jean Charles had no padded jacket on, did not jump over any barriers. He was not even carrying the dreaded rucksack. He was simply the wrong colour. The colour of a terrorist.

They spotted me watching and I felt myself get worked up. I wanted to cause a scene.  To let people know what was going on here. I said Racists out loud. They heard me and none of the armed men could look me in the eye. An Asian bobby who had turned up, couldn’t stop eyeballing me. I stared right back. Police tactics work in so many ways to provoke, intimidate.

After reading all his personal papers, and telling him they thought he could be a terrorist; they had to admit they found nothing. To stop anyone seeing what they were doing they formed a ring around him. They could see me watching, so they blocked my view. The biggest of them was laughing and asking where he should go next. To the next brown man I suggested. He ignored me. People walked by but because they had ringed him in no one could see what was happening. It was clear now he was not carrying a bomb- so now they formed a tighter ring round him- to hide what? The fact they had been searching a man based on the colour of his skin perhaps?

After half an hour the armed police left. 2 plain clothes were left taking his details and the Asian bobby kept eye balling me. I had nothing to hide. I eyeballed him back. Eventually they left and the man was left crouching in the street putting his things away. I went up to him and put my hand on his shoulder. Asked him was he okay. I did not want to scare him. I told him I had seen what had happened . He seemed wary and said yes he was fine. I said I would have been scared, I was scared because of how many men there were. And his eyes started to fill with tears and he said yes he was scared but he was okay. He asked me my name and where I was from. He said he did not understand why he had been stopped. I told him it was because he was carrying a rucksack. He did not understand what that word meant. And because he was brown. He understood that with a resigned acceptance . Just as I was asking him if he needed anything the Asian bobby turned up again. They had been sat in the police car watching me.

He looked down at where I was crouched with the man and asked me if I was okay. I said yes thank you fine. He would not move. He looked at my brown paper bag from the Tea Shop in Neal Street. There was a terracotta tea pot in there and some Jasmine tea. I told him I did not have a bomb and would he like to arrest me because I was brown too. He said nothing. I said I am having a private conversation please would you go away. He said I saw you say “racists” and I wanted to explain we are not and I am Asian. Good for you I said. You stopped this man because of the colour of his skin. He started to say no and started to get quite pushy. Provocative I would call it. I was not going to be riled. I told him I was exercising my human right to have a private conversation, he was disturbing this, he had no legal right to stop me speaking to someone and to go away. He would not go away. He said he wanted to explain to me why they had stopped this man. Perhaps he thought me press. Perhaps he thought this would go further. I turned my back on the bobby and finished my conversation with the man.

I wandered dazed and upset into Tesco’s to get away from the meddling Bobby, who would not even let me extend some generosity to the man they had just harassed.  Aimlessly moving through chiller cabinets and food aisles, I went to leave and there he was, resilient, by the entrance with his white charity bucket in Tesco’s. He was not making any noise. Just silently standing there with his bucket collecting for charity.  We spoke some more. He seemed stunned but he thanked me for being kind to him. I asked him for an interview and he said sure. I hope to share his story with you in his own words here of the experience. He told me he was from Bangladesh and was collecting for the poor and sick back home.

This incident is a sharp reminder of where we are with the terror laws that were rushed through. Take this incident and change a few variables. The man has a beard and Muslim dress. The man is younger, resents being stopped, resists the Police.  The man has no papers to prove who he is. The man doesn’t speak English. The man has a Koran on him and literature that is anti war. The man has people who want to teach him a lesson, has annoyed his neighbour, who report on him-and you are one step closer to cases like Baber Ahmad. To extraordinary rendition, to Shaker Aamer still languishing in GTMO.

Wrong place, wrong time, and most definitely the wrong colour.